Finding his Heart
by SaraSidle-Beta
Summary: A GSR story. With the Strip Strangler standing large and having already killed three young, brunette women, Grissom's love for Sara becomes a test. Sara decides to be used as bait to catch the killer. Grissom realizes how important Sara really is to him.
1. Chapter 1

**Started Feb 12/09 **

**Part 1**

**Song lyrics - Where is your Heart, Kelly Clarkson**

**CSI Finding His Heart**

**By: Elizabeth Gentile**

_I don't believe  
In the smile that you leave  
When you walk away  
And say goodbye  
Well I don't expect  
The world to move underneath me  
But for God's sake  
Could you try?_

She lay in her bed, in their bed feeling tired and annoyed. She knew that sooner or later she would fall asleep but she wanted to fall asleep with the man she loved next to her. Sara

flipped over onto her left side and turned the lamp that was on the nightstand beside her on. The room glowed dimly as she blinked a couple of times, letting her eyes get used to the

light. She laid her head onto her pillow and waited, she didn't hear anything but she knew he was in the house. She sighed as she turned the lamp off and rolled back over onto her right

side. "This is ridiculous." She thought as she closed her eyes and let herself get the rest she needed.

Grissom finished signing the last form and placed it in the brown folder. He sighed as he leaned back, his head resting on the back of the couch. He drew up his arm and looked at the time

that was displayed on his watch, 12:36 p.m. He yawned as he picked up the heavy folder and placed it on the coffee table that was in front of him. He got up and stretched out his legs,

he noticed that Hank was already asleep in his little bed. "Maybe that's what I need, maybe I need sleep." Gil thought as he left the living room and headed to the kitchen to turn of the

light. After he did so, he left the kitchen and went into his bed room, their bedroom.

Gil woke up breathing heavily out through his nose and in through his mouth. He was sitting up in the bed and blinked as he tried to adjust his eyes to the darkness. He coughed and

started to calm down as he laid himself back, his head resting on his pillow. He looked over to his left side were Sara lay. Her brown hair swam over her pillow, her face emotionless and

pale. Gil felt safe. This was the only image in his life that made him feel safe. He leaned in and kissed Sara on the cheek. She moved her head, her eyes scrunching and then her face went

back to normal. He was afraid that he woke her up but he did. "Gil" Sara whispered, breaking the silence in the house. Grissom almost jumped, he was taken by surprise. "Yes Sara?" he

asked as he moved closer to her. She pulled her hand out from under the sheets and held his hand. He looked at their hands, hers were small, delicate and long and his were big and

rough. "Why didn't you come and lie down with me?" she asked, a pang of sadness filled her voice. Grissom's heart sank, "I'm sorry Hun, and I was doing paperwork." Sara looked at him

in the eye; her eyes were liquid brown balls of beauty. "You would rather to that then come and at least rest beside me for ten minutes?" Gil sighed, "I never said I would rather, I said I

was doing paperwork." Sara shook her head as she sat up in the bed, her tank top hung loosely around her. "I'm tired." She announced. Gil put his hand on Sara's back, "I'm tired too

honey, lie back down with me." Sara wanted to but she was peeved at Gil right now. "I got to get up." She proclaimed as she tried to leave the bed. "No" Gil said in a loud, demanding

voice that made Sara, himself and even the house fall eerie. "What?" Sara asked as she turned her head to look at him. "I said no." he whispered this time, his eyes melting with hers.

She stared at him for some time taking in what she loved. His deep blue eyes, his curly graying locks, his strong hands, some days it was all too much. "Fine, I'll stay." She responded as

she lay back down. Grissom held onto her waist with both arms. "I love you Sara." He whispered in her ear. "I don't believe you." Was all she could whisper back.


	2. Chapter 2

**Finding his Heart Part 2**

**Scene- Season 1 Episode number 22, 'The Strip Strangler'**

**Song lyrics- Where is your heart, Kelly Clarkson**

_I know that you're true to me__  
you're always there  
you say you care  
I know that you want to be mine  
Where is your heart?  
'Cause I don't really feel you_

Sara woke up the next morning feeling cold and confused. She remembered what happened last night and what she last said to Gil, but what did he think afterward. She got up and

looked around, his sheets were pulled down and he was gone. He wasn't here. "Sure" she thought, "He could be in the kitchen or in the living room or the bathroom but the house it was

too quiet." She thought as she got up from the bed, their bed. She stood there for a few seconds; it never made sense to her. Sure he could have a nice house; a good paying job, a

girlfriend, hell even a car but the only that mattered to him was his work. She walked out of the room and into the kitchen. The sunlight was pouring in through the windows, making the

room light and warm. She sat down at the table and laid her head in her hands. She sat there, not knowing what to do or say next. She started to cry, it was silent until it really sunk in

and she began to weep.

Sara had no choice; the lab had phoned her and told her that they needed her to come in, so much for taking a personal day. Anyway, work was work and although Sara tried to hide it

from herself she knew that really she as much as Grissom was a workaholic, maybe that's why they were both like she, yes, she finally admit it to herself. Maybe he thought she was

clingy, maybe he thought that she felt like she owned him. Did she own his heart though? Or did that belong to someone else? All of this ran through her mind as she drove to work, her

mind was somewhere else completely. She thought about addressing the situation to him at work but word does spread even when you just talk to one person. Sara sighed as she

parked in the lab parking lock, took the keys out of the ignition and got out of the car. She put on a decent smile, rested her sunglasses on her head and headed into the building.

"We have another possible victim of the same killer; she has the same signature like two other young women who were found this way, one of them, if you remember, Audrey Hayes."

Grissom reported in front of his team. They were all in the lab break room, Catherine and Warrick sitting on one side of the table, Nick and Sara on the other side while Grissom kept

standing. Sara couldn't help but to stare at him the whole time. "Nick, I want you to pull up the Hayes file and go through all the suspects mentioned and the evidence." Grissom declared

to Nick, he responded with a shake of his head. "Sara, Cath and Warrick you guys head out to the scene, Brass is already there." Warrick nodded his head as he and Catherine got up.

"What about you?" Sara asked Grissom. "Oh, I'm coming with you guys." He stared blankly at Sara who in return gave him an emotionless look back.

Grissom and Brass were the first ones in the vic's bedroom where she was found murdered, Sara, Warrick and Catherine were in the house but not in the same room yet. "Eileen Jane

Snow. Lady she carpools with couldn't get her to answer the door. Police broke in." Brass announced as Grissom stood near the bed, looking at the dead young woman. "This is exactly

the same as the last two." Grissom responded in a grim tone. Brass looked at Grissom, "Audrey Hayes was strangled in her basement and the other one ended up in the park." Grissom

shook his head, "Different M.O., but it's the same signature." This time Brass shook his head in response, "M.O. is how he breaks in. Signature's what he does once he's inside." Grissom

took out his camera from his kit and turned it on. He looked at the body and then at Brass who stared back at him blankly. Grissom took a picture of the woman, he kept in mind that her

hands were tied up, her eyes are open and there are significant bruises around her mouth. Grissom moved the camera away from his face as he thought out loud, "Three or four

overpowering blows to the head from a homemade weapon fashioned at the scene." Grissom lifted his camera and took another picture, the iron used to subdue the young woman.

Grissom lowered the camera again, "Forces her to drink a mixture of sodium amytal as a chemical restraint." Once again, Gil took another picture of the drinking glass that was discarded

on its side. Grissom turned to look at Brass, this time he was cold and in a shock. He didn't lower the camera and his voice was strong sounding but if you listened closely you could hear a

waver in his voice, Brass noticed. "Overligature of the victim…" Grissom started as he swallowed, trying to make his throat moist again. "And the object rape. Then he strangles her.

Ejaculates on the bed sheets." Grissom finished as he slowly rose from his crouching position. He heard footsteps close behind him, he knew it wasn't Brass.

Sara walked up the doorway of the bedroom, she was supposed to be outside but she needed to see the victim, she needed to know. As she stood there and looked, trying her best to

hold her tongue she just couldn't do it. "Damn it." She said out loud. Brass turned around and Grissom's heart thudded. "Sara." Brass called, his face growing dim. Sara walked away, her

voice still heard even though there was a break and angry tone in it, "Damn that guy." Grissom stood there for a second in shock until he decided to go and follow her, she needed to be

comforted. He followed her out into the hallway.


	3. Chapter 3

**Finding his Heart Part 3**

**Scene- Season 1 Episode number 22, 'The Strip Strangler'**

**Song lyrics- Where is your heart, Kelly Clarkson**

_Where is your heart?  
What I really want is to believe you  
Is it so hard  
To give me what I need?  
I want your heart to bleed  
That's all I'm asking for  
Oh, where is your heart?_

"Listen, no emotions here." Grissom whispered to Sara who was staring at him with a piercing gaze. "He's escalating Grissom." She responded, hate and anger in her voice. He looked at

her for a few seconds until he answered her, "That's the pattern; it's a continuum." Sara shook her head as she looked down at the floor, "Something else reminds me of this. Something

else like a pattern Griss." She said, trying to keep her voice down. Grissom looked at her confused, "What do you mean?" Sara looked up this time, staring at him. Her eyes were narrow,

her brow was furrowed and her mouth was no longer a straight line, it was now in fact a downward curving arch. "Something that happened last night. Were where you?" she asked.

Grissom stared t her blankly, "What does this have to do with the case?" Sara shook her head as she remained silent for a few minutes. She looked down the hallway; Catherine and

Warrick were in the hallway gathering information from Detective O'Riley. "Guess he wants to get caught." Sara responded, trying to remain her concentration on the case, to Grissom

desire. Grissom looked at Sara with a tired gaze, "Signature killers never want to get caught. And they won't stop until they do."

Sara peeled off the tape lift from the carpet, studying it carefully she broke into a huff. Warrick looked at her and went back to his work which was going through the sheets on the bed. "I

have tape-lifted; roll-lifted…I'm not finding one hair." Sara announced as she put the tape lift with the others she had done. Grissom walked back into the bedroom, carrying a clipboard

with him. He heard Sara's distress from the hall and decided it would be a good idea to stay in the room with Warrick and Sara, just in case she broke down again. Grissom stared at the

pile of tape lifts and while he was doing so he felt confused, all these samples taken and no hair? "I wonder what that means." He concluded as Warrick and Sara looked at him. "He

vacuumed this place before he left. We've established that he utilizes materials from the victim's domicile." Sara responded as she walked over to the closet and opened the door. A

vacuum cleaner was propped up in the corner. Sara reached into the closet to open the vacuum only to find that the bag was missing. Sara turned around from her position, Warrick still

going through the sheets and Grissom who was now looking at the night table beside the bed. "Hey guys. He took the bag." Sara called from the closet. Grissom sighed before he

responded, "Well, look for prints." Sara nodded as she reached for her case which was just outside the closet door. Grissom, Sara and Warrick heard footsteps in the hall coming close to

the room, Warrick looked up from processing the sheets and saw Catherine standing in the doorway wearing safety glasses. "Don't bother. There aren't any. Just like the last time. The

guy's mister clean. Here, knock yourself out." Catherine announced as Sara and Grissom too now faced Catherine. Sara stared at her, desperation in her facial expression. "Thanks." Sara

responded blankly. Grissom looked at Catherine and continued on with his thoughts, "He stalked this woman. He knew how much time he had in this apartment to kill her, and to clean

up after himself." Catherine nodded her thoughts exactly. "I'll tell Brass to check for sex offenders in a two-mile radius." Grissom nodded his head in agreement. "Yeah, have him check for

peeping toms, too five years back. That's how they get started." Grissom responded to Catherine's plan. Catherine gave him a 'good idea' look and left the room. It was now Warrick's

turn to add his two-cent worth. "Peeping toms to murders?" he said in a questioning tone. Grissom nodded as he began to explain, "It's about crossing boundaries. It's like, uh, with cake,

you know? You're just going to have a little bit of the frosting and you end up eating the entire plate." Sara smirked, "Damn, he should be the one to talk. He probably forgot what

happened last night." Sara thought in her head. Warrick went back to analyzing the sheets; he flipped over the bed cover and stopped immediately. There was one single strand of hair

lying in the folds between the sheets. "Nobody move." He said with a light joking tone in his voice. He took out a small evidence packet and his tweezers from his kit; he picked up the hair

and placed it carefully in the packet. Warrick held up the evidence packet for his colleges to see. "Mr. clean needs a maid." I'm going to take this back to the lab." He announced as the

others showed a little sign of relief, they were finally getting somewhere


	4. Chapter 4

**Finding his Heart Part 4**

**Scene- Season 1 Episode number 22, 'The Strip Strangler'**

**Song lyrics- Where is your heart, Kelly Clarkson**

_I don't understand  
Your love is so cold  
It's always me that's reaching out  
For your hand  
And I've always dreamed  
That love would be effortless  
Like a petal fallin' to the ground  
A dreamer followin' his dream _

"Gil, I need a word with you outside." Sheriff Mobly said from Eileen Snow's bedroom doorway. Grissom turned around to face Brian Mobly, a distressed look etched his face. Grissom

looked back at Warrick before he sighed and followed the Sheriff outside. Grissom looked out into the daylight, it seemed so strange to him since he was used to working nights. The

minuet he thought of daylight, Sara came into mind. He didn't know why but she did and whenever she did come into his mind he felt like a wave of peace washed over him. Right now he

knew that work was still important, especially for this case. Grissom came back out of his thoughts, still following Mobly he broke the silence, "You're bringing the FBI in? Why?" Mobly

sighed before he responded to Grissom's question. "They offered their assistance, and I'm inclined to take it. Of course, uh, I'd want to make sure your okay with that." Grissom took his

sunglasses out of his vest pocket and put them on, trying to cover himself from the flock of newscasters. "I don't believe the investigation should go that way, Brian. I mean roadblocks

and special ops?" Grissom replied, a hint of fear in his voice. Mobly shook his head in a sarcastic fashion, "Oh, that's a pity, cause I do. Maybe you'll feel different when you meet Rick

Culpepper." Grissom looked beyond Mobly who was in front of him to another man, dressed in an expensive suit and wearing sunglasses. As Grissom and Mobly walked closer to the man,

he drew out his hand to Mobly who graciously took it. "Sheriff Mobly." Rick said as a smile came over his face. "Rick." Mobly responded, the smile was contagious, he caught it too. Rick

turned to face Grissom, the smile never leaving his face. "Hi, Rick Culpepper. Federal Bureau of Investigation." He announced as he extended his hand again, this time facing in Grissom's

direction. Grissom took it out of politeness, "Gil Grissom, Agent Culpepper." Culpepper put on a twisted face as he continued the light conversation with Grissom, "Uh, Special Agent. It's

great to meet you. All our kids back in Quantico are always going on about your bugs." Grissom remained quiet as he watched Culpepper take off his sunglasses and focus his gaze on

him. "Well, listen, the FBI is here to help you and your people at CSI. Of course, uh, as SAC, the investigation will run through me. Sheriff probably already told you that." Culpepper

concluded as he turned to face Mobly who in turn Grissom was also now facing Mobly. "No, he didn't mention that, either." Culpepper stepped in once again, trying to save Mobly from

Grissom's smart remark. "All rivers run through Rome so to speak." He laughed before he continued, "But, uh, you get an attaboy. Three women dead cause you couldn't get the job done.

There are not many guys who can hand the case over to us Fibbies." Grissom replied dully to Culpepper, "I'm not handing it over. I'm willing to work in conjunction to you." Culpepper

nodded his head, the smile was slowly coming back, "Well, that's fine. We'll work the Strip Strangler case in conjunction." It was Grissom's turn to put on a face, this one in confusion, "The

what?" Culpepper replied in an honest, non-sarcastic tone, "He strangles them near Las Vegas Boulevard then removes their clothes. Strip Strangler. Why? What do you call them?"

Grissom faced Rick Culpepper and also answered in a non-sarcastic tone, even though he knew that Rick wouldn't take his answer seriously. "Unknown signature homicide, Metropolitan

Las Vegas." Culpepper turned to Mobly, "Oh. He's not kidding, is he?" Mobly shook his head to the question.

Grissom started walking back to the house until he heard his name being called by O'Riley. "Excuse me. Guy over here's got something you might want to hear. Syd Goggle. He's a security

guard. Community patrol. Says he saw a man speeding away from here last night." Grissom stopped in his tracks and turned back around to follow O'Riley. As they came up to the yellow

police tape, Grissom could make out a thin man, late thirties wearing a brown baseball cap, a matching brown jacket and a white dress shirt. "Mr., uh, Goggle? Gil Grissom." Grissom

introduced himself the security guard. O'Riley lifted up the police tape, letting Syd in to talk to him and Grissom. "I know who you are, sir. I've seen you on TV." Syd said as he turned to

face Grissom. It was like he was always there, Grissom and O'Riley hadn't noticed until his loud, political voice was announced. "Special Agent Culpepper. You have information for us, sir?

About a man fleeing the scene." Grissom almost jumped, he didn't even now Culpepper has tagged along. Syd still faced Grissom, "I didn't get his license. I didn't think of it till this

morning. Be He was really burning rubber, though." Grissom smiled as he responded, "Would you please give Detective O'Riley a full statement? If we have any more questions, we'll get

back to you." Syd smiled in return, "Listen, if you need any help in your investigation, Mr. Grissom…" Grissom raised his hand slightly as he interrupted Mr. Goggle, "The last time a security

guard tried to help me, he ended up dead. But thank you." O'Riley gently took hold of Syd's arm as he leaded the man away from Grissom and Culpepper so he could get his full

statement. Grissom turned to Culpepper, "I'm late for an autopsy." And he started to walk back to his Tahoe. Culpepper was left for a while until Mobly came back up beside him. "He'll

need a little patience." Mobly added as Culpepper nodded. "Wouldn't respect him if he didn't." There was silence for a while until the two men started to walk back to the apartment were

the vic was found.


	5. Chapter 5

**Finding his Heart Part 5**

**Scene- Season 1 Episode number 22, 'The Strip Strangler'**

**Song lyrics- Where is your heart, Kelly Clarkson**

_Where is your heart?  
'Cause I don't really feel you  
Where is your heart?  
What I really want is to believe you  
Is it so hard  
To give me what I need?  
I want your heart to bleed  
And that's all I'm asking for  
Oh, where is your heart?_

Sara and Catherine had finished gathering the little evidence that they had and where ready to head back to the lab. Catherine was still inside the apartment; Sara had already started

walking to the car with both her and Catherine's crime scene kits. As Sara got to the car, she took the keys out from her pocket. She opened the trunk and placed the kits inside, still

leaving room for Catherine to put the evidence in. As she closed the trunk she heard her cell phone ring and instantly she drew it out from her other pocket and flipped it open and

brought it up to her ear. "Sidle." She waited until the person on the other end talked, "Sara…its Grissom." Sara stood by the Tahoe, mouth open and looking around frantically, she didn't

want Catherine to come and break up their conversation. "Gil…I…why did you leave me last night? Where did you go?" she said, it felt like it just poured out of her mouth. "Are you guys

leaving the scene?" Grissom responded in the most oblivious tone. "Are you joking with me? Gil, I'm talking about us right now and I want you to answer me instead of dodging me."

There was a silence that came over the phone, it was like they both hung, it was too silent for too long. "Gil…" Sara said, breaking the silence that was starting to scare her. "Sara…I'm

sorry I left. They needed me at the lab and I…" he started until Sara got fed up. She was pissed, "Gil I don't care right now about the lab! I needed you last night and I thought you just

left because…look I have to go…I" she fumbled over her words as she saw Catherine walking towards her, evidence bags in her hands. "I'm sorry Sara. I'm…I'm late for an autopsy." Sara

stood there mouth open, head spinning. He hung up. "Sara, pop open the trunk." Catherine called, inching closer to the Tahoe. Sara slowly drew the phone down to her side; lifting the

opposite hand she clicked the button to open the trunk. Sara put away her phone, keys still out she unlocked the car and got into the passenger seat, she strapped her seatbelt on and

waited for Catherine. Her head was swirling or maybe it was her mind, she just didn't understand why he was like this. It made no sense to her, he could be so passionate and caring and

involved in his work but not in others? She just didn't get it.

"What can you tell us?" Nick asked as he, Grissom and Al stood over the body which was laid out on the metal slate in the morgue. "Nothing you don't know. Trauma to the head with a

blunt object. Overwhelmed her." Grissom pictured it in his mind, the murderer his Eileen Snow, there was even an echo, and he had hit her hard. "He got a mixture of sodium amytal in

her." Al concluded. "A hypnotic." Nick added as Al nodded in agreement. It was Nick's turn this time to picture what had happened, the murderer was sitting on top of Eileen, forcing her to

drink the amytal. "Allowed him to control her for up to six hours. Torture her. Look at her bruises." Al responded as he pointed to the purple bruises on her neck and face. Grissom leaned

in closer; Nick slightly moved his head to take a closer look. "Purple means she was alive for all of it." Grissom pictured this now, the murderer strangling Eileen; he was holding the cord

tightly around her neck. "Percussive control." Nick said as he turned back to face Al. "He choked her unconscious and then brought her to multiple times. What about the rape?" Grissom

asked as he pulled away from the victim. "Same as the others. Indeterminate object caused severe internal lacerations." Al answered, Nick shook his head. Al turned to the metal dish

that was placed just above the victims head, he picked up his tweezers that were on the slate and picked up a sample that he found. "I did find a small trace of something creviced in the

uterine wall. Looks like an everyday polymer to me." Al said as he held out the sample with the tweezers to show Nick and Grissom. Nick extended his hand as Al let him take hold of the

sample. "Okay, I'll go back to the scene, try to find something like it." Nick said as he still held the sample. "Be careful, Nicky. The cliché's true. Signatures return to their scenes." Grissom

warned as he looked at Nick with a serious gaze. Nick looked back and returned the look "Will do." Nick gave the sample back to Al before he headed out of the morgue. "Are we done?"

Grissom asked after Nick left the room. "Something we didn't find with the other two women." Al responded, pulling Grissom more and more into the case. Al took the tweezers and fished

out another sample from another metal dish, a single strand of white fiber. "Fibers. One in the back of her throat." Al said as he lifted the fiber so Grissom could see. "One stuck between

her lower molars." Al added before Grissom could respond. "This looks like cotton. Maybe terry cloth." Grissom said as he looked closer at the fiber. "Hmmm." Al added, nodding his head,

he didn't think about that. "Could be silencing them with…white bath towels?" Grissom conducted as he looked at the victim and then back at the fiber. "Well, it would explain why no one

hears the victim's screams." Al responded, nodding his head again. Grissom looked confused as he thought out loud, "He brings it with him and takes it away after. So, somewhere,

there's evidence of this victim on a towel." Al gave in a small smile, "Kind of a forensic smoking gun." Grissom looked at Al whose smile faded away, "Mmm. Now we just have to find that

guy and hope that he hasn't done his laundry."


	6. Chapter 6

**Finding his Heart Part 6**

**Scene- Season 1 Episode number 22, 'The Strip Strangler'**

**Song lyrics- Where is your heart, Kelly Clarkson**

_It seems so much is left unsaid  
So much is left unsaid  
But you can say anything  
Oh, anytime you need  
Baby, it's just you and me  
Oh yeah_

Catherine walked into the lab where Greg was stationed at, his spiky hair and his clothing choice never ceased to amaze her. Once Greg saw Catherine he picked up the file folder that

was on the desk to his right. "The semen taken from this morning's homicide matches the semen taken from the bed sheets of the last two female victims." Greg announced as Catherine,

now standing beside him, nodded her head. Greg opened the file folder and took out a single sheet of paper that he handed over to Catherine. "So, we're looking at the same guy."

Catherine asked as she read over the results. "Yeah, but, check this out. The ejaculate sample." Greg responded as he pointed to the microscope. Catherine looked at Greg before she

bent over slightly to look at the sample through the microscope. Catherine stared at the sample for a while, something wasn't right. "What's the red stuff?" she asked. Greg shook his

head, "Mystery substance." He responded as Catherine stood back up. "Not blood?" Catherine asked, what else could it be? "No." Greg simply said as he shook his head again. "So,

what, this guy's got some strange chemical in his mutated DNA?" Catherine asked, this was getting ridiculous. "Freaky, huh?" Greg responded, a tinge of enthusiasm in his voice.

Catherine sighed as she started to walk out the lab, before she left completely she turned back around to face Greg, "Freakiest semen I've seen in a while. Call me." Catherine turned

back around and continued walking, she didn't know until she felt something or someone bump into her. She looked up at the figure, it was Sheriff Brian Mobly. "Oh." was all Catherine

could say.

Mobly stared at Catherine who was dumbfounded in the fact that she didn't even realize that she had bumped into him. "Catherine, you busy? I was hoping we might be able to talk

about a few things." Mobly said, a smile covering his face. Catherine stared at him for a few seconds until she answered him, "Pertaining to the case?" The Sheriff stifled a laugh, "As a

jumping-off point." Catherine surprised a tiny smile, "Well, Sheriff, I'd say let's go to my office, but I don't have one." Mobly looked quickly behind him, he returned to face Catherine with a

sly smile on his face, "Well, that's just the thing I hoping we would discuss."

She didn't know what she was going to do; he seemed so different when he was deeply buried in a case. When he wasn't, he was all hers, maybe she was jealous but…it was Grissom.

Sara sighed as she returned to her work; she was looking at the hair sample that Warrick had found under the microscope. "What if he put me under the microscope? Would I want him to

know the things about me that I haven't told him yet? Could I trust him with all my deep dark secrets that I hope one day I can share with him and never have a second thought?" Sara

thought as she held her head up with her arm. "If only he understood what was going on, he plays so naïve with me all the time, he plays it out so it looks like I don't have a clue." Sara

continued her thoughts as she sat there in a daze. She sat there for a few more minutes until out of the corner of her eye she saw Warrick round the corner, "Hey, Warrick you got a

second?" Sara called as she broke her own train of thought. Warrick stopped and turned to look at Sara, he nodded his head slightly as he walked over to her to see what she needed.

"What's up?" Warrick replied. "I got this hair that you guys found this morning and I'm trying to compare it to the other hair we recovered from the murder last week…the Hayes girl?"

Sara announced as Warrick nodded his head. "And you got a match microscopically but it doesn't mean a damn thing cause it still doesn't lead us to the guy." Warrick added to Sara's

conclusion. "No. I can't even tell if we have a DNA match. There's no skin tag on either one." Sara added, changing the whole view on the evidence. "Whoa, whoa, whoa. A girl defending

herself against a guy is going to pull that hair out by the roots." Warrick added, he was sure of it. "I mean, you can get scalp skin filled with DNA." Warrick continued his train of thought.

"No scalp, no skin. It's almost like this hair was…" Sara added but before she could finish Warrick finished her sentence. "Shed…" Warrick nodded as they both stayed in their position

running idea's through their heads. It was like nothing could break the silence of these two CSI's until both their pagers started to beep. "Mine." Warrick said as he pulled his pager out

from his pocket. "Mine" Sara stated as she too pulled hers out.


	7. Chapter 7

**Finding his Heart Part 7**

**Scene- Season 1 Episode number 22, 'The Strip Strangler'**

**Song lyrics- Where is your heart, Kelly Clarkson**

_I know that you're true to me  
You're always there  
You say you care  
I know that you want to be mine  
Where is your heart?  
'Cause I don't really feel you  
Where is your heart?  
What I really want is to believe you  
Is it so hard  
To give me what I need?  
I want your heart to bleed  
That's all I'm asking for  
_

Grissom was walking down the hallway, file folder in his hand. He was thinking it through; he was thinking a lot of things over especially the phone call he made to Sara earlier. Sure, he

really wanted to tell her how he felt and hoe sorry he really was but he knew how bad he screwed up and it would take a lot to mend her heart. He so desperately wanted to tell her how

much he loves and cares for her; he knew it wasn't going to be that easy. He knew the case was getting in the way and he knew that if there were no cases, no Las Vegas crime lab

they wouldn't even be here in a relationship tight now. Life is a bitch. Grissom broke out of his thoughts as he heard pounding footsteps behind him, he turned his head to see who it

was. "Hey, Gil, you want to give me the skinny on this meeting of yours? I'm on my way back to the crime scene." Nick announced as he was now walking side-by-side with Grissom.

Grissom threw on a confused look, "What meeting? I'm going to evidence." Nick shrugged as he added, "I got paged about the signature case." Grissom was about to respond until her

heard more footsteps behind him he soon found out that it was Warrick and Sara. "Hey, Warrick and I just got a break. The guy's been planting hairs." Sara announced as she stared at

Grissom who didn't want to make eye contact with her, so Sara looked away. "Shedding. He's trying to throw us off. What he doesn't realize, we got no DNA on the hairs sp we can't

chase down his other suspect." Warrick added as he starred at Grissom whom seemed to have lost concentration. He was looking down the hallway were he saw numerous members of

the FBI in the conference room. "Grissom…are you hearing us?" Sara asked, feeling very annoyed not just because he was ignoring her but now the team. Grissom, Nick, Warrick and Sara

were now stopped in the doorway of the conference room, standing face to face with FBI agents and also Agent Rick Culpepper.

Grissom and the rest of his team walked slowly into the room, they had got Agent Culpepper's attention. "You all got my page. Good" was Culpepper's 'hello' to the team. "I didn't."

Grissom responded, the rest of the people in the room stared at him for a couple seconds. "We'll get you a new battery." Culpepper responded as he brushed Grissom's remark aside. "I

thought we'd convo about the strangler. Hear what you got tell what we think our next move should be." Culpepper announced as Grissom turned around to face his team. "Would you

guys go back to my office, please? I'll be there in a few minutes." Grissom commanded in a whisper to Warrick, Nick and Sara. A few seconds later, Warrick, Nick and Sara filed out of the

room leaving Grissom to deal with Culpepper. "I'll be happy to pass on any pertinent information you may have to my team." Grissom replied to Culpepper who in return shrugged. "Okay.

Fine. Got anything to report to us?" Grissom looked around the room and then in a whisper he responded, "You first." Culpepper smirked, "Okay. We have an operation in place. Your CSI,

Sidle, has expressed an interest to my agents in availing herself. I wanted to let you know before we made an official offer." Grissom felt shocked and confused and angry all at once.

"He's risking Sara's life to a serial killer and a rapist? I can't let that happen to her, what if…" he thought until he knew that he had to respond to Culpepper. "Really? What kind of

operation?" Culpepper put on a disgusted face, "All this talk about your great capacity for observation. Sara Sidle matches the victim's prototype to a "T." She's a young woman, brunette,

tall for a female." Grissom was growing impatient and nervous, "If only she knew…that was the reason I became so indulged in this case, all of these victims had similarities to Sara…I

didn't want her to figure that out and then figure me out, I don't want her to get hurt or in fact, become the next victim because she does, and I know she does, fit the prototype."

Grissom thought as he felt eyes on the back of his neck. Sara had walked back into the room, Grissom turned around only to become face-to-face with her, he turned back around to look

at Culpepper. "You're not serious." Grissom asked, hoping the agent would change his mind, hoping that Sara wouldn't dive into the operation. "And by all reports, she's steady. Has the

right personally for a decoy operation. Culpepper added as if he wanted Grissom to agree with him. "My thoughts exactly." Grissom thought. "You're going to bait this guy with a human

being. This is your big FBI plan?" Grissom asked as he felt more and more fed up. "Human being…first time in a long time Grissom." Sara thought as she remained silent, for now. 'Before

he kills again, yes. You got a better idea?" Culpepper asked, hoping Grissom would reply with a no. "Understanding him first, completely, so we can get out ahead of him." Grissom replied.

"Did that have two meanings…or one?" Sara thought, her thoughts were no longer on the case but they were now on her and Grissom. "And if he kills again while we're trying to

understand him?" Culpepper asked, testing both Grissom and Sara's patience. "Well, I'm sorry, but he's not going to kill my CSI." Grissom responded as he pointed behind him at Sara.

"I'm going to do it Grissom." Sara responded it had just slipped out of her mouth. "What am I thinking?" Sara thought as she tried to keep a straight face. Grissom turned around; a

surprised and feared look on his face. "I want to." Sara replied to herself. "Why do I really want to do it? Come on Sidle you got to have a reason? It's Grissom isn't it?" Sara asked herself

in her own thoughts. "You want to put yourself in the path of a psychotic killer?" Grissom asked, hoping, praying that she would back down. "I'm trained in weaponless defense." She

announced, hoping, praying that it would be good enough for him. Too bad, because that's what turns him on…women fighting back. Gives him a greater sense of power when he makes

his final kill." Grissom responded, his voice was stone cold now. "He probably had to meanings to that first part." Sara thought, her mind completely elsewhere and nowhere on the case

details. "Grissom…" Sara stared as she was going to talk him into it. "Sit down, Sara." Grissom butted into her response, he was sick of this plan. Culpepper was now looking at the duo,

the smart mouthed Supervisor Grissom and his sassy mouthed assistant Sara Sidle. "Okay. If we're to follow your line of thinking are you ahead of him?" Culpepper asked as he already

knew the answer. "Not yet. He knows just enough about forensics to be dangerous. He thinks he's throwing us off track by planting confederate hairs. He probably shaves his head

maybe his entire body as DNA protection." Grissom proclaimed, he knew what this killer was capable of. Grissom continued, not letting Culpepper or Sara get in his way of his knowledge,

"He may gag his victims using a garden-variety bath towel which he then takes with him as part of his murder kit. He will go after another tall brunette and the torture will be worse. But

this time, he won't ejaculate. At least not at the scene." Grissom wrapped up his thoughts, still keeping Sara in mind, it was too risky and too dangerous to put someone he loved as bait.

"At home, later. He's learning control." Culpepper added, as if trying to make out a joke. "Thinks he knows his next victims?" Sara asked, she finally started to feel worried; maybe this

wasn't a good idea. "Signature killer always know their next victims. But they don't know him." Grissom answered Sara question without looking at her, he still couldn't believe that she

would put herself out as bait. There was silence until Grissom turned around and looked at Sara. She was too beautiful, the way her soft, brown hair complemented her naturally red lips

and how they matched perfectly with her pale skin. "Until he tortures, rapes and kills them." Grissom said, still looking at Sara. Sara knew she was having second thoughts.


	8. Chapter 8

**Finding his Heart Part 8**

**Scene- Season 1 Episode number 22, 'The Strip Strangler'**

**Song lyrics- Theif - Our lady Peace**

_I don't want to understand this horror  
There's a weight in your eyes  
I can't admit  
Everybody ends up here in bottles  
But the name tag's the last thing you wanted  
As the world explodes  
We fall out of it  
And we can't let go  
Because this will not go away_

Time passed quickly but not quickly enough, not as quickly as Grissom would like it to be. He wanted it over, he wanted Sara back in the lab and safe, not out here in the middle of the

night propping herself as bait for a serial killer and rapist. He wanted this operation night over and doe with but as life takes it, it was painstakingly slow. Nick and Catherine had given

him more information; Nick had told him that the suspects wear thick rubber gloves, he knows better than to leave his prints at the scene. Catherine had gotten results from Greg

indicating that the red stuff in his semen was ketchup; he was trying to mask his DNA. Grissom remembered what he had said to Brass before he came to Culpepper's operation. He had

told Brass that Culpepper couldn't have Sara. "What was I thinking? I'm acting as if I own her, as if I make her decisions, as if I know what's better for her. I hope to God she knows

what's she doing…I can't lose her again." Grissom thought as he got out his Tahoe and started to walk over to the police cars. "Okay, listen up. All personnel will be tethered to our decoy

by this radio." Culpepper instructed to the many police, agents and sheriffs that occupied the operation. Grissom watched the techs that were inside the van help Sara with her

microphone; they had attached it to her bra. Grissom watched as she pulled her orange, sleeveless shirt down over her torso, it sent shivers down his back. "According to Captain James

Brass two of our assailant's victims patronized this specialty grocery store to which we are about to embark forthwith two days before they turned out dead." Culpepper continued on

with his plans. Grissom turned around to see Brass following up behind him. When Brass was standing next to Grissom that was Culpepper's cue to continue, "There's a very good chance

our assailant will re-frequent this store, looking for his next victim." Grissom stood there and wondered, "Had Sara stayed up all night wondering if she was going to be left hanging or if

she was going to be taken by bait? Did she once think of the possibility of getting killed or raped or…" Grissom's thoughts stopped as soon as he saw Sara step out from the back of the

van. She was wearing the orange top he had seen earlier, a knee-length floral skirt and brown loafers, her hair was left down and she was wearing red lipstick. "This is a pretty flimsy

excuse to get your circus up and running, don't you think?" Grissom called in a tone that had anger written all over it. Culpepper just put on another one of his sick smiles, "Lives are at

stake. I'll take flimsy over nothing." Grissom shook his head as he looked at Sara, she made eye contact but quickly looked away from him, what was she afraid of? "This is action for

actions sake Culpepper. You're risking my CSI's life." Grissom called again, this time looking at Culpepper. Culpepper stared at Grissom for a while until he got out of the back of the van

and walked away. As soon as he left Grissom turned to face Sara who was walking toward him. "What is she going to tell me, Tell Agent Culpepper to stop this madness Gil; I don't want

to put my life at risk." Grissom played out in his mind. "Look, this is my idea. I want to do something before another girl gets killed and…" Sara stammered, the words were like molasses.

"Listen to me, Sara. If we study his past, we can predict his future." Sara shook her head in disagreement, "You've been saying that for weeks. It's taking too long. Someone else is

going to die and you're still going to be figuring it out." Sara added her rage and desire boiled up inside her. Grissom took Sara by the arm and walked her over to the front of the van

were no one was occupying it. "Sara…I'm afraid for you. I don't want you doing this, I know I've been closed to you and I've been dodging all our personal conversation but this time I

mean it…I'm afraid for you and I need you." Grissom said with a sigh. Sara looked shocked, she was about to say something back but Grissom continued on. "The lab needs you and…if

you do still chose to carry on with this plan I want you to be safe…I don't want to lose you." Sara stared at him; it was the first time in a long time she was able to get what she wanted

to hear without opening her own mouth. "Couple minutes ago when I was talking and you cut me off, I was going to say that we have to do something before another girl gets killed

and…"Sara broke off, her voice had changed close to the end of her sentence. "And?" Gil replied, not understanding her point at the moment. Sara had covered her face with her hands,

she was crying. Grissom extended his arms and pulled her into his hold. She sobbed quietly on his shoulder; he felt his shirt turn damp from her tears. "Listen Sara, I'm not trying to scare

you I…I just never really noticed how strong and brave you are. There should be a lot more CSI's out there like you, who really care about their job." Grissom said, trying to make Sara

stop her crying. "And the next victim could have been me…I wanted to stop him before he got me." Sara continued, she was crying harder now. "I know…but he won't you know why?

Because your brave and you have me Sara, I love you okay?" Grissom replied as he watched Sara gently pull away from his arms. "Okay." She responded, a little gap-toothed smile came

over her reddened face. Sara and Grissom walked back to the back of the van where they met up with Culpepper. "Where were you two? I was about to send Sidle off." Culpepper

asked, his voice growing agitated. "Just going over the safety procedure, Culpepper." Grissom responded. Culpepper turned to face Sara, "Okay, Sidle we're good to go." Sara turned to

face Grissom before she followed Culpepper, "Wish me luck."


	9. Chapter 9

**Finding his Heart Part 9**

**Scene- Season 1 Episode number 22, 'The Strip Strangler'**

**Song lyrics- Theif - Our lady Peace**

_I can't see that thief  
That lives inside of your head  
But I can be some courage at  
The side of you bed  
I don't know what's happening  
And I can't pretend  
But I can be your, be your _

Sara walked slowly in the back of the supermarket staring blankly down the aisles that she passed by. She didn't want to draw so much attention that she looked like she came into the

store just because but she did want to get the killers attention. As she walked she looked at each person she saw, mostly older women she knew that this was going to take some time,

it had already been three hours. She was holding a grocery basket; she had filled it with bread and apples just so she wouldn't look suspicious. "I wish Grissom was with me." Sara

thought, it had just come into her mind. She continued walking, her heart pounding fast with ever step.

Grissom and Culpepper were inside the tech van watching five monitors that had Sara displayed on each of them. Grissom was growing impatient he had checked his watch; it had been

three hours and no Strip Strangler. "This is ridiculous." Grissom thought as he waited and watched as patiently as he could.

Sara kept walking at her slow pace, she walked passed an aisle were a man was standing next to his cart as he put in a few bottles of ketchup. Sara stopped to look at him, maybe this is

the guy, she kept her eyes on him, and she needed his attention. She finally got it. He looked at her for quite some time, "Maybe this is the guy." Sara thought. She was about to head

down the aisle until she saw a woman come from around the corner holding a can of peas; she put it in the same cart. "Damn it." Sara thought as she started walking again.

Culpepper lifted his arm to check is watch, he coughed before he started to speak, "Oh…it's three hours extended. Maybe we should reposition over at the Borders book store. Gets a lot

of foot traffic in there according to the field agents."

Sara was in an aisle now, staring and examining various different bottles of herbs and spices. She knew that this guy wouldn't show up soon so she needed to keep as low key as she

could. She picked up a jar of sea salt as stared at it blankly. "The next victim could be me…I'm brave, don't let it get to you." Sara thought as she frowned and tried to get the idea out of

her head. She put the bottle of salt back and picked up another bottle, this time it was pepper. As Sara examined the bottle, out of the corner of her eye she saw a man staring at her, he

was holding a grocery basket and he was alone. Her heart began to pound. She stayed were she was, not even daring to walk down the aisle. "I need to make eye contact." She

thought as she closed her eyes and then opened them again. She took a deep breath in and turned her head to look at the man who in return was looking right at her. She slowly mover

her head back forward to look at the shelf. He was pacing back and forth from what Sara could determine from the corner of her eye, he was waiting and watching and he was hoping

that no one would just show up. No one did, so he began to walk down the same aisle were Sara was.

Grissom was watching the monitors, he didn't want anything to happen to Sara, and he needed to focus on her and not at his anger right now on Culpepper. Grissom watched the man

who kept going up and down the aisle; he finally started walking toward Sara. "Woa." Grissom said as he pointed to the monitor, he had caught Culpepper attention. "That guy's coming

back." Grissom announced as he and Culpepper were now glued to the monitor, neither of them wanted to blink, Grissom's heart began to pound, and this is what he feared, not just for

Sara, not just from himself but for both of them.

"Would you happen to have a cigarette?" the man asked Sara, he was now right beside her. Sara's heart pounded, he was right there, not even five centimeters apart. "Uh…yeah,

actually." Sara responded as she looked at the man and smiled. He smiled back. Sara reached into her purse and fished around for a short period of time, she didn't want to get him

impatient. She finally found it and took it out; she held it out in front of her.

Grissom was sweating now, it wasn't the stuffiness of the van it was that they were talking to one another, the fact that Sara Sidle could be talking to a rapist and a serial killer who had

killed three women so far and Sara could be the fourth. "Culpepper…" Grissom started with a nervous tone in his voice. "Let her play." Culpepper responded. Grissom knew this was a

game to him but he didn't see it like that.

"I've been trying to quit. Didn't want to buy a pack." The man said to Sara, in fact it made her smile. "Me, too. This is my last pack…but, uh, I say that every week, so…" Sara responded as

she handed him the cigarette. "Non-filtered. The women I know smoke filtered…you know those long, skinny cigarettes." He responded as he smiled at Sara. "Guess it depends on the

woman." Sara replied, trying her best not to sound so smart mouthed. The man put the cigarette between his lips, "You got a light?" he asked as he stared at Sara. Sara stared at him

before she responded, "Sure. Yeah." Sara opened her purse and looked into it, her gaze was no longer focused on the man, and "Where did I put that damn lighter?" she thought to

herself. The man looked around before he picked up the conversation, "You live around here?" he asked, Sara was still trying to find the lighter. "Maybe." She mumbled, she was getting

frustrated and tired. The man took the cigarette out of his mouth and tucked it behind his ear, Sara looked up at him. "I don't usually give out that information." 'It's probably smart. I

wouldn't tell me either. Your cute." He said, trying to drag her into his mental grasp. "Thanks." Sara responded but her voice wasn't flirtatious, it was annoyed, tired and overall serious.

The man instantly looked to his left side, drawn by natural reflects so did Sara. It was as quick as a flash; the man had dived his hand into Sara's purse.

Culpepper waved his hand at the officers that stood outside the back of the open van. "All right, we're on the move. Let's go." Grissom and Culpepper jumped out of the back of the van,

they were now following multiple officers toward the grocery store. "I hope she's safe in there. Please, keep her safe." Grissom prayed as he followed Culpepper and the rest of the

officers.

Sara had noticed a large tug on her purse, she looked at the hand inside and then followed it up to the face, and it was the same man. "Hey!" Sara yelled as she pulled the purse away

from the man. There were now about six cops on each side, one group behind Sara and the other group behind the man. They had pulled out their guns and where now facing it toward

the suspect. "Don't move!" yelled an officer. The man took a few steps back as he held up Sara's wallet. "I'll give it back. Here" He said as he threw the wallet to the ground as two

officers came up behind him, one of the officers cuffed the man. Grissom moved into the scene, picking up Sara's wallet. There was a quiet ring; it was some body's phone. I had stopped

when Culpepper answered it, "Yeah, Culpepper. Time and coordinate? Yeah, will do." He hung up his phone. "All right, gentlemen. Nothing ventured nothing gained. I do not believe this is

our man." Culpepper announced as he looked at the suspect. "What was your first clue?" Grissom asked in a smart assed remark. "Murder at the Monaco Hotel. Woman found bound in

her room striped and strangled." Culpepper answered not just for Grissom but for everyone present. Culpepper, the officers and the suspect left Grissom and Sara in their positions. Sara

walked toward Grissom who wrapped his arm around her shoulder, "He met the profile." Sara stated feeling more foolish than ever. Grissom handed the wallet to Sara who had taken it

and threw it into her purse. "Sometimes, the hardest thing to do is to do nothing." Grissom responded as they both walked out of the store.


	10. Chapter 10

**Finding his Heart Part 10**

**Scene- Season 1 Episode number 22, 'The Strip Strangler'**

**Song lyrics- It's Been A While - Staind**

**Thank you everyone who has read, reviewed and favoured my fanfic. I greatly appreciated all the suport and especially the reviews that had helped me and had given me ideas**

**for this story! There will be more, a continuation so like I always tell you guys, KEEP POSTED! **

_It's been a while  
Since I could hold my head up high  
and it's been a while  
Since I first saw you  
It's been a while  
since I could stand on my own two feet again  
and it's been a while  
since I could call you_

A week and a half passed since the Strip Strangler case. The murder at the Monaco turned out to be the woman's husband who used the same technique as the strangler. Grissom was

taken of the case by Brian Mobly. Grissom helped his team go over the evidence, like Catherine said, if the team were civilians than so was he. He had helped them with evidence and he

helped them with their theories and scenarios that they worked out about the Strangler. They even had meeting about the case in his home since he wasn't allowed at the lab, Mobly

had given him a week off. Grissom got too involved with the case and decided to venture off and find the Strip Strangler himself, he knew who it was, he wasn't stupid but his decisions

about his visit to the Strangler's home was. He knew that the Strangler was Syd Goggle and so did the rest of the team when they had connected the dots. Grissom went to Syd's home

to confront him only, in doing so, making him mad about his tiny bit of sloppiness. Syd had hit Grissom with a wrench in the arm, making him fall down. He had picked up the shovel and

was coming toward Grissom until Grissom noticed holes appear in the man's chest. Catherine had come to his rescue, shooting Goggle down. The Strip Strangler was no more and Vegas

could rest easier but the only thing that remained for Grissom, even though he had finished this hard, painstaking case, was Sara.

Sara was lying in bed, her hair was tied up into a neat bun, and pieces of her hair hung down and cascaded around her face, making a frame around it. Grissom was lying next to her, his

arm around her shoulder just like when he was taking her out of the grocery store the night of Culpepper's operation. "Were you really afraid for me Grissom? Or did you care too much

about the case?" Sara asked her voice light. "What kind of question is that Sara? My heart was pounding when I found out you wanted to be a part of the situation, even worse, when I

had to watch you on the monitor." Grissom replied as he looked at Sara. Her eyes were closed and her mouth in a simple, delicate smile. "Thank you Grissom." She simply responded. "For

what dear?" he asked, not sure if she got what he had just told her. He was ready for a comeback from Sara about bravery but he figured she was just too tired. "For believing in me…I

did it for you…because of you. You're my sense of bravery and strength." Sara said as she turned her head to give Grissom a kiss on the cheek. "I'm sorry about underestimating you…I

wouldn't have done something like that." Grissom stated, he was being honest. That made Sara laugh. "Oh, come on. You? You would do something like that. Your brave Gil…aren't you?"

Sara asked as she tried not to laugh. "I'm only brave when I'm with you." Grissom concluded as he kissed her back, this time on the lips.


End file.
